To fully digest this post, you have to watch the video above. It's pure beauty. So please, take the 8 minutes and watch it. You'll be happy you did. I promise. And if you aren't, you have no business being here :) The first parts of it have no sound, so just watch and breathe. Now, on to my post.
It's St. Patrick's Day. 10pm.
I'm most likely not going to post this tonight, as I really have to digest the day before I decide to provide an appropriate accounting of it, and the consequent impact it made.
After the second guy today, I made the decision to blog about it. Then, while at the gym, the third one hit my phone. Three men today, all of varying presence in my past, reached out to me. Men whom I had relegated to the Land of No More. This is also layered on top of the fact that a fourth entity from about three years ago became part of my present life as well. A welcome re-entry.
All of this is not surprising I suppose. But a few days ago I watched the video I posted here, the concept being something I think about...... A LOT.
It is my firm belief that people intersect our lives for reasons that we can always assign a purpose to. The bigger part, I've come to understand, is that sometimes they come at the very wrong time. I lament this often, feeling like a potential love interest came knocking when I was interested elsewhere, or my feelings for them may not have been known to me. Or the converse of this being that I was pursuing someone, and he just wasn't feeling me at the time. I've found a lot of this is timing. Timing is everything. I often think about it being subject to serendipity, fate or some other cosmic cog that, at the end of the day, we have no control over. I've been on both ends of this dynamic force, and while I used to be saddened sometimes, I now think to myself "you never know what the future holds....take a breathe and do what you feel is best"
The past couple months (actually January and part of February....less so now) I've been dating more than I ever thought possible. In full disclosure, my feeling has been that the more of the population I sample, the more likely it is that I will engage with The Right One. While this has been a very frustrating and difficult period for reasons that most single people can understand (direct blows to one's self esteem and feeling like I'm going to die alone), it has also created an awareness of things within myself that I'm not sure I ever knew about myself. It's been such a unforeseen period of self discovery, I'm very grateful for that surprise gift.
On to the meat of this entry. The three communications that occurred today all came via text. Out Of Left Field, The Deep Blue, and A Galaxy Far Far Away. There is no legitimate way I would have predicted this. Three previous entanglements, and on the same day....it's surreal to me. (and what is more fun to think about is that each of them are gorgeous, as is the man who resurfaced a few months ago. I'm not talking gorgeous based upon my preferences. All of them have abs I can point to and count, smoldering faces and impressive swagger. It's no joke. #fun #thingsthatmakeyougo.......) Anyway, I digress.
I'm not saying I believe any one of these men are going to be anything further in my life. Hell, I'm not even disclosing if I responded to their texts. What I am saying is that Life Is Beautiful and Mysterious. We never know when that person who waited on us in that restaurant is going to be your husband. We don't know if the guy you spent that snow day with will recycle around two years from now saying you never left his thoughts. We just don't know where the day will take us. And we certainly won't know how the day will come to completion.
I woke up today and went to yoga at 7am. As I did my first downward dog I had no idea, at 11pm that very same day, those three men would put themselves in my orbit again. And please, don't get me wrong, it very well may be that each of them should stay in the past, but it may be opposite of that too. I'm particularly tentative about feeling hope or committing to any one person being my next breakfast buddy, I've learned that the yellow brick road is winding, super suggestive to interference, and mostly just kind of fades into a pleasant field or dead end. And there is That One. Who fits better than the rest.
Meet me in the back. Meet me in the future later. Meet me when the docket is clear. It would be nice to see you around. I'm glad that you are happy and things are good for you now. That night was really special, even if for just the night. I remember what your skin smelled like. I liked the way you held me and sang quietly into my ear. Since we last talked I went through a tough period only to find myself in a better place. I started dating someone and you got back with your ex.
All things we say when fate leads us to one another unexpectedly. I've learned to wake up and allow the day to be filled with wonder and unforeseen direction.
Thank you for letting me know I'm on your mind and that you always wondered what would have been. I'll pay it forward. I promise.
Much -
Nately